Becoming a parent, as a dad or non-pregnant partner is an exhilarating and transformative experience. It’s an incredible journey filled with joy, excitement, and new responsibilities. Parenthood starts from when you support your pregnant partner. As your partner navigates the rollercoaster of physical changes, emotional highs and occasional challenges, your role as her support system and her advocate becomes more crucial than ever.
Understanding the importance of your support and unwavering encouragement during this transformative time is key in nurturing a strong and loving partnership. Let’s explore how you can be her rock, her confidant, and her greatest ally during this magical time.
The Importance of Support for the Mama-to-be
The pregnant body undergoes profound changes and fluctuating hormones. It’s normal for expecting mamas to experience a wide range of emotions, from elation to anxiety. Apart from showing your love and devotion to your partner, support during pregnancy provides a safe space for mamas-to-be to experience their feelings, fears, and concerns without judgement.
A partner’s support is especially important for mama and baby. Research shows that a mama-to-be who feels supported by her partner during and after pregnancy feels less stressed and happier. Lower stress in moms during pregnancy has a direct positive impact on pregnancy outcome and is beneficial to the newborn.
In essence, the importance of support for your pregnant partner cannot be overstated. It’s a lifeline that sustains her through the highs and lows of pregnancy. Whether it’s a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on or a compassionate ear, your support creates a nurturing space for love and encouragement. Laying the foundation for a healthy, happy, and fulfilling pregnancy experience for both mama and baby.
Tips for Supporting Your Pregnant Partner
Educate Yourself.
Learn about the changes your partner is experiencing. The more you know about what is happening in your partner’s changing body, how these changes may affect her emotional and physical wellbeing and what sorts of challenges she may be facing, the better you can support her.
- Pregnancy books: these are a good resource for research and to learn what’s going on in your partner’s body. They are often detailed guides with helpful week-by-week information and tips.
- Childbirth classes: childbirth classes led by a registered labor nurse, or a certified childbirth educator are an excellent resource in educating yourself on the things you need to know about pregnancy and childbirth.
- Other new parents: sometimes speaking with friends who have just had a baby can be very resourceful. They could provide valuable insights or parenting hacks that can’t be found in books. These tips may be more in sync with your particular situation.
Be Involved.
Being present is one of the main ways to show support. Participate in choosing the healthcare provider and birth location. Whenever possible, accompany her to prenatal appointments. Ask questions and participate in decisions about prenatal tests. Attend birthing classes together. Offer practical assistance with household chores, cooking, and running errands. This helps alleviate some of her stress and allows her focus on self-care and preparing for the baby’s arrival.
Communicate openly.
Foster open and honest communication with your partner. Create a safe space for her to share her thoughts, fears, and desires. You want your partner to feel like she can share whatever is on her mind. Ask her what she needs and how best you can support her.
Understand Your Own Emotions
As a parent-to-be, it’s important to acknowledge and validate your own emotions. Becoming a parent is a big deal. Recognise that your life is also going through significant changes and it’s alright for you to have your own concerns and stresses. Acknowledge and address your own feelings so you can better support your partner.
How to Support Your Pregnant Partner Trimester-by-Trimester
Your partner would go through a myriad of emotions and changes from one trimester to the next. Here is how to support your partner during pregnancy all the way to the birth of your little one.
First Trimester: Help Her Feel Better
The first trimester of pregnancy can be rough. Even though she doesn’t look pregnant yet, a lot of hormonal and physical changes are happening in her body. She may feel exhausted, nauseous, crave certain foods, or develop a strong dislike for certain foods. You and your partner can use this time to get used to the idea of being parents. Try to figure out how to manage the changes a new baby will bring. Here are some ways you can support your pregnant partner.
Physical support
- Let her sleep in or take a nap.
- Don’t eat anything around her that makes her nauseous.
- Cook your own food, especially if she is tired or can’t handle the smells.
- Offer to run out to get those pickles she is craving at 2 am.
Emotional Support
- Don’t take it personally if she isn’t feeling up to eating the diner you’ve prepared.
- Offer a listening, non-judgmental ear.
- Be patient with mood swings.
- Encourage her to take her prenatal vitamins.
- Encourage her self-care routine.
- Let her know it’s ok if she throws up in front of you.
Second Trimester: Pamper Her
The second trimester is usually considered the honeymoon phase of pregnancy. Most of the sickness of the first trimester is gone and the discomfort of the third trimester is yet to begin. The second trimester is a good time to start discussing serious things like finances and parenting styles. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly, even with difficult topics. This would help build the positive communication you will need as parents. Here are some ways you can support your pregnant partner at this time.
Physical Support
- Engage in some healthy activities together. Such as 20-30 minute walks daily, prenatal yoga once a week, a trip to the farmers market for fresh, clean produce.
- Eat healthy food together.
- Cut back on alcohol and coffee in solidarity.
- Help with her mountain of to-do lists.
Emotional Support
- Talk about how you both are feeling.
- Create moments of connection. Plan special date nights, plan a babymoon, enjoy simple quiet moments of bonding.
- Help her family and friends plan a baby shower.
- Encourage her to speak with her healthcare provider about how she is feeling.
Also, speak with HR on your company’s policy on parental leave. Remind her to check her workplace’s maternity leave policy. Familiarise yourself with your insurance coverage and take some proactive financial steps like budgeting for the baby. These should help you both plan accordingly.
Third Trimester: Make Her Feel Comfortable
The third trimester is when things may start feeling physically uncomfortable for your partner. She may experience back aches, heartburn, shortness of breath, difficulty sleeping, foot swelling. Here are some things you can do to help.
Physical Support
- Tell her to sit down and put her feet up, while you make diner.
- Take over more of the household chores.
- Help her find time for daytime naps.
- Offer foot massages.
- Help find comfortable sleeping positions.
- Do a tour of the place where your baby will be born.
- Go shopping with her for baby essentials.
- Help with other preparations for your baby such as setting up the nursery, baby proofing the house, packing the hospital bag.
Emotional Support
- Help her foster her self-esteem.
- Tell her she looks beautiful.
- Be patient with her.
- Talk and sing to your baby.
- Discuss her birth plan with her. So, you understand what she wants and are able to advocate for her.
Labor and Delivery: Be Her Champion
Labor can be very scary. Even for you as the support partner. You’ve attended all the classes, read all the books, but nothing can really prepare you 100% for the reality. You may both be nervous, especially if this is your first pregnancy, though you can’t take her pain away, you can support her and help her feel less nervous and more comfortable.
Physical Support
- Give her a massage or organize a hot/cold compress.
- Help with her breathing exercises, remind her to breathe slowly. You can also do this to help you remain calm.
Emotional Support
- Don’t get upset if she gets frustrated with you or changes her mind about what she needs.
- Speak to the midwives or doctors on her behalf and advocate for her birth preferences.
- Encourage her and tell her she can get through the labor and delivery.
- Help her focus on the baby not the pain. Help her visualize meeting your baby.
Fourth Trimester (After the Birth): Be Protective and Nurturing
Mom likely would be tired and focused on the baby. With the arrival of your little one, family and friends would want to visit with mama and baby, help her by being the gatekeeper. Manage visitors so she can focus on rest and recovery. Here are some ways you can support her during this time.
Physical Support
- Set up a meal train or support signup with family and friends so she can have a well-planned recovery and rest period after birth.
- Help with feedings and diaper changes so she gets a little more rest.
- Take as much off her plate as possible. Cook meals, clean the house, do the laundry, take care of, and entertain older children.
Emotional Support
- Help her stay connected to the outside world. Plan small outings for fresh air and gentle walks walk.
- Breastfeeding can be tough, encourage her, remind to take it one day at a time and it gets easier over time.
- Talk about how you are both feeling. Open communication and understanding will build your strong foundation as a family.
Becoming a parent is a big job and it starts with taking care of mama. While caring for and supporting your pregnant partner is important, don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Find time to do something rejuvenating for you, it could be going to the gym after work or hanging out with friends. Make sure to practice self-care as you journey through this pregnancy with your partner. Your dedication to being the best partner possible is a powerful gift to your growing family.
Recommended Reading
- “The Birth Partner” by Penny Simkin with Katie Rohs
- “The Expectant Father” by Armin A. Brott and Jennifer Ash Rudick
- “Men, Love & Birth” by Mark Harris
- “The Book of Dads” Edited by Ben George
- “We’re Pregnant! The First Time Dad’s Pregnancy Handbook” by Adrian Kulp
- “The Expectant Dad’s Handbook” by Dean Beaumont
- “You’re Going to be a Dad!” by DaddiLife Books
- Dude, You’re Gonna Be a Dad!” by John Pfeiffer
Hey mamas, share this with your partners and arm them with a helpful toolkit to navigate this journey with you.
